this morning as i was waking up i was cooking in my head, which is very normal and happens most days, but today i was cooking in a incomprehensible manner with non-descript ingredients, well they werent exactly non-descript but i was completely non-commital and couldnt decide exactly what i was using in my cooking and some ingredients were starting as one thing and then changing part the way through into something else. and so the dishes didnt really come together and i had no clear ideas for cooking anything in particular.
and so i didnt eat breakfast and then eventually cooked something in the afternoon. and when i started cooking i had no idea and improvised my whole way through the cooking process. ending with things that i wouldnt have thought about had i been thinking. whole ideas built themselves up around nothing, and then one ingredient and then another and eventually there were a few little bowls of things. that came together in some way but not through consciousness of composition or pre-conceptualising, but from travelling spoon (or knife) first in the kitchen.
a large percentage of today has been in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning up the dishes from cooking. currently i have a cake in the oven and i think it is possibly the strangest cake i have ever made. im not sure if it will work.